


cold trick of the light

by weeniewife



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Dedue Molinaro Needs a Hug, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd Needs a Hug, Felix Hugo Fraldarius Being an Asshole, Feral Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Gen, brief drug use mention /, but he's right tho, i mentioned caspar for like 5 seconds but i need everyont to know he's good., self harm mention /
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weeniewife/pseuds/weeniewife
Summary: It had been five years since Dimitri asked Dedue for space. Three since his disappearance. Two since he was officially declared dead. Dimitri was gone, Dedue was covered in more scars, and the world was wrong.In which Dedue tries to live his life without following and caring for Dimitri because he believed him to be dead. But he always wished that they were wrong, that Dimitri would one day turn back up somehow.[everyone's living in the same apartment complex/reincarnation au]
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Dedue Molinaro, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Dedue Molinaro
Kudos: 11
Collections: apartment au!





	cold trick of the light

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a warning like always exploring any kind of Dimitri mental break thing could be potentially upsetting, please be mindful and safe!  
> There's also a brief drug use and implied self harm mention.
> 
> this is 100% tied to our complex au and this fic predates everything.  
> i just love dedue and wanted to think about him. and apparently i have dimitri brainworms as well. please enjoy if you read! <3

“Really, Dedue, if we are going to be  _ involved,  _ I would ask you to stop being so formal with me when in private. I understand the need to remain professional in front of others, but… there is no one here. Why do you insist on giving me a title and only speaking when spoken to? Please. Explain your thoughts to me.”

“When first we met I was ignorant. I will not make the mistake again, General.”

_ “Dedue.” _

“Yes, sir.”

Dimitri sighed loudly, putting his hands on either of Dedue’s shoulders. “We were once able to speak as equals. I thought that progressing a relationship such as this with you would mean that we could return to that. But you are giving me an unnecessary amount of praise that borders upon  _ worship  _ now. It is not what I hoped for in the least.”

“I could never again pretend that we are equal. We never will be.”

“We are! Dedue, you are so  _ important.  _ You are so worthy of respect, of love. I cannot believe I have allowed a situation in which you to feel otherwise.” The young man paused, bringing a hand to his chin as he thought. “Though perhaps that is exactly the line of thinking that caused it. I am not your entire  _ reason for living,  _ my friend. You are complete and worthy of life without my being here at all.”

“As much as it pleases to hear me you say such things, I do not believe it to be the case.”

“Then I must ask you for some time alone, so that you may be able to see who you are without me.”

-

It had been five years since Dimitri asked Dedue for space. Three since his disappearance. Two since he was officially declared dead. Dimitri was gone, Dedue was covered in more scars, and the world was wrong.

Now Dedue was watering some plants in his makeshift garden on his apartment’s patio, his tiny roommate awkwardly clutching a basket in his hands as he approached. There was something about the way he looked that told Dedue things would be different. Something in the way he was fidgeting that would shake away the memories he was losing himself in.

“I… thought maybe you’d come with me! Just for tonight. If that’s okay, if you’re busy I don’t mind -”

“I would like that.”

Ashe perked up visibly, his face beaming with excitement. “R-really!? Wow. I’m so happy you’ll join me! I have a place in mind if that’s alright? We can walk from here, even, if you want.” His hands gripped the makeshift picnic basket tightly, as though he was afraid of dropping it now that he was practically bouncing. It melted some part of Dedue’s heart that remained hardened and cold.

“I will follow you, then. Is it far?”

“N-no, not really! Just… might be a little bit of a hike once we get on the trail, but nothing too terrible. I’m sure if I can get up there, so can you.”

He was telling the truth, the trail wasn’t far and the shortcut he’d found made things a lot easier. It  _ was  _ a steep hill to get exactly where he wanted to go, but they were able to figure it out without Ashe dropping his basket at all. They had set off later in the day, so the sun was setting pleasantly as they sat in comfortable silence. As they often did.

But time was passing quickly on this night, and before they knew it darkness had fallen. Ashe meekly told Dedue that was the plan all along, as nightfall would bring something else along.

“Have you ever done this before?” Ashe asked quietly, not looking over at his friend. “Watched a meteor shower like this, I mean. Or the night picnic. Or had a picnic under a sky full of shooting stars? Hah…”

“None of them.”

“Oh! It’s a first for me, too. I can’t believe how peaceful it feels out here. I really expected to find someone on our way here!” He fumbled with his bottle of water, careful not to spill any as he finally screwed it open. “Though, I guess it  _ is  _ supposed to be closed down after dark. But whoever watches over these should make an exception for a night like this right? I hope I don’t get us both in trouble but - oh, look! There’s one there!”

Ashe  _ typically  _ didn’t babble like this. Sure he did something similar when they first met, but Dedue knew it was only because of the situation they were both placed in. He was nervous then, meeting someone new. Meeting someone huge and intimidatingly quiet like Dedue when Ashe was still perceived by others as a meek young woman. Wanting to bridge the gap of silence, but being so awkward that it was almost more uncomfortable than the silence itself.

He was so moved by Ashe’s words then. It had been a long time since anyone new had reached out a hand, even longer since he’d met anyone that saw him only as Dedue and not as the man that followed around the General. Not as the man who was unable to bring him back from a cult’s kidnapping. Not as the broken husk of a survivor that was only alive because his boss commanded it so many times. Ashe saw Dedue for what he was, past any labels that most in this region of Fodlan would have given him. Ashe was only ever intimidated by his size, by his stare, by his silence.

The moment Dedue responded to him he could feel the tension melt away. Everything changed so quickly.

There was a kindness within Ashe, a softness that Dedue had forgotten still existed in those who lived. One that he did not feel he deserved. One that he shut himself out to, refused to acknowledge even when Ashe was insistent on being friends. The jaded husk of a man would only stare, only look through him until he finished speaking for too long. But once Ashe was able to find common ground, and the moment he heard Dedue’s voice - so soft, so full of pain, so beautiful - they were practically inseparable.

Their friendship was natural, and both of them began to spend more and more time together. Ashe was at a very sensitive point in his life, coming back from a period of loss and hardship, being separated from his younger siblings as he aged out of the foster care system in place in Fodlan, and his difficulty in keeping a home due to his other circumstances. He found help through his community, staying with a friend he’d made in a help center who could be sure to keep Ashe in a stable environment.

Though Ashe’s friend was far too loud of Dedue’s liking, he allowed him to come over and visit whenever he needed and the two became closer over cooking and long nights of opening up or spending time saying nothing. Time passed quicker than they’d realized, and  _ years  _ had passed. Things had changed. And Dedue had been contacted by a member of the church directly to be given a free home and a fresh start due to his connection to Dimitri and others (namely Rodrigue Fraldarius) who wanted to assist him.

He actively fought against the help, not wanting to be seen as a charity case, but if it was Dimitri’s kindness that he was accepting - he realized it would be against his wishes for Dedue to decline. He commanded him to live. He commanded him to thrive. And he was given the tools to do so, enough to help his friend back into his independence and up a steep incline where they could share some wine and snacks under the stars.

“What will you wish for?” Ashe asked, putting the bottle in his lap. “There’ll be quite a few, so maybe you can make a couple of wishes. But if you could only pick one…?”

“You know that it is bad luck to say it out loud.”

“I know, I know… Well then, what would be the second thing you’d wish for? So the first one still comes true.”

“I would rather hear what you would say.”

“Oh, alright… I guess my main wish would be that I -” Ashe cut himself off and immediately went red, as though he was reciting a script but became so flustered he forgot the next line. “…that  _ your  _ wish comes true?”

“Odd. That’s what I was thinking, but for you.”

“Oh, but if we don’t actually make any wishes then neither of us will have it come true!” He let out a soft laugh, hands tapping at the bottle in his lap again. Then tapping at his lap. Then tapping at the blanket beneath him. His hands were moving on their own, tapping away as though he was going to be better at saying what he meant through them than his own words. But there was no way he could translate so that Dedue would be able to read it. There was no way that -

Dedue reached over to place a large, calloused hand over one of Ashe’s. He didn’t look over at him as he did so but kept his eyes to the sky. He let a smile slowly warm his face.

“Dedue?”

“Yes?”

“I think my wish will come true. As silly as that sounds.” He was still blushing, his voice still shaky, but Ashe wasn’t as nervous as he had been. He meekly let his fingers intertwine with Dedue’s, just at their fingertips. Something so subtle yet so intimate he could cry. He didn’t deserve this. He’d done some terrible things when he was young, even if they were to help his family. Even if he had done everything he could to make up for it.

“Yes. And I think mine will, too.” Dedue knew he did not deserve Ashe; at least, that’s what he always told himself. Why he’d kept his distance emotionally, though they were already too far gone. He was too soft. He was too kind. He was too perfect, something Dedue felt he would taint over time. He didn’t know if he was  _ allowed  _ to wish for him. Sure, the first thought he had would be that Ashe would lean forward as Dedue did. But there was always a wish somewhere deeply smothered in his heart, the flame snuffed out by the years of false hope and the certainty that nothing would ever turn up. But Dedue’s other wish would come true.

As if on cue, the moment before their lips finally met, Dedue’s phone buzzed loudly in his pocket.

“Oh, maybe you should get that!” Ashe was flustered again, hiding his face in his hands as Dedue fumbled to get out the loud mood-wrecking device.

He swore that he recognized the number, but it wasn’t one he must have had contact with in a long time. There was no name attached, no reason to answer. He let it ring a few times as he stared down at it, trying to remember who it was that was on the other end of it. It wasn’t Rodrigue, it wasn’t anyone at work, so it made no sense why it would be so familiar.

It was no matter. He chose to put it down, as much as he would hate himself for it later. He silenced the ringer as it went off, again and again, opting to kiss Ashe for the first of many times beneath a sky now blanketed with wishes he finally cared enough to make.

-

“Yeah, yeah. Look! One arm!”

“If you drop that I will slice both off.”

“Felix, those are in the  _ next  _ load. You don’t have any swords in this round of stuff.”

“I’ll find something else to do it with.”

Their voices were so familiar, from forgotten parts of his life. Sounds he filed away to never need again, sounds that echoed in his chest and caused his heart to ache. The reverberations of their banter sounded like Dimitri. It sounded like him scolding the two for fighting, for getting into trouble together, for being unprofessional, and otherwise generally embarrassing. He wanted to get back into his run-down car, pretend he hadn’t heard any of it. Pretend he didn’t see Felix dragging a guitar case while Sylvain had a giant box in his arms.

He sighed, and before he was able to do anything to stop himself, he was approaching the taller of the two to see if they needed help. He always did like him better than Felix, even if he was difficult to be around when under the influence or with a girl hung around him, which was… often. But it didn’t seem to be the case today.

“Sylvain.”

He dropped the box.

_ “I’m going to kill you if that had anything but clothes in it.” _

Sylvain’s face twisted into some emotion Dedue didn’t recognize. Something he was sure he’d seen once or twice, but it was genuine and beneath any lines that Sylvain had painfully etched onto his face. He looked like he could cry, maybe. Like he was angry. Like he was relieved. All at once.

“Dedue, I’ve been trying to find you and you’re…”

_ “Leave the lapdog alone, idiot, my stuff -” _

“Look, I know you’ve been avoiding my calls because of… well, everything I did to annoy you all those years ago.” Felix was grumbling about the box some more, something low and unintelligible as he snatched it up from the ground. He glared at the both of them, struggling to carry it as he already had so much with him. But knowing him he’d figure out a way. “But you don’t know, right? I was going to get an investigator on your trail since Rodrigue brought it up recently… But I thought, if you already knew maybe you just wanted out of it…”

“An  _ investigator?”  _ Dedue’s eyebrows pinched together, and he gave Sylvain that look that could kill. “What do you want with me. Why are you here.”

“We’re moving into this place so, I guess we’re neighbors or something now? If you’re not… visiting.” Sylvain was stepping over something. Dedue remembered him well enough to know the nervous laugh. He was great at hiding his own emotions, wonderful at putting on a face for things that he didn’t think mattered. So whatever it was had to directly affect Dedue himself. “Uh, let’s… go inside? Maybe you should be sitting down for this.”

“Sylvain, I am not interested in your games.”

“I’m not playing games, Dedue. I’m serious.” He wasn’t lying. Dedue knew that, too. “If you don’t know already, it’s going to be a shock. Alright?”

“Alright. I live in the apartment at the far end on the first floor. I understand you may need to help Felix with whatever you dropped first.”

“…yeah, you might be right about that.”

As if they’d scripted it, Felix was kicking the complex’s entrance door down and muttering to himself.

_ “Oh don’t worry, I’ll take care of it all. You don’t have to worry! Let me just get the rest of it, too.” _

What the hell could  _ Sylvain  _ of all people be wanting? It made him feel bad for blocking his number, as that was likely who was trying to contact him for the past several months. He’d blocked it after a week as he never left any voicemails. But that could’ve been because he hadn’t set it up, or something to that effect. Dedue didn’t expect anyone to reach out to him besides work, Ashe, and the representative of the church that had initially contacted him about the apartment. He wasn’t much for friends outside of that.

Sylvain was a party animal, a playboy - at least that’s always what he presented to the world. What Dimitri would scold him for. What got him pulled away from any sort of political jobs in the future and caused him to forget several years of his life. Dedue had thought to reach out to him shortly after they lost contact, as he was not completely ignorant to the world and saw the news of his brother’s attack on the public and his subsequent death.

But he had his own demons to face and he never did reach out. They were not exactly on terrible terms, as there had been plenty of mornings where Sylvain was sober and he spoke to Dedue as an equal. As a man who truly cared for Dimitri, and even for him despite their differences. Sober Sylvain was so much different than the man who would drown himself in his women and whatever else he had to fuel his addiction.

“No, I’m clean. I have been for a few years now.” He was sitting on the table across from Dedue, both hands clasping his large mug of tea as they caught up and he was asked that  _ damned  _ question again.

“That is good to hear.” He didn’t look up from his cup. “He… would be happy to hear it.”

“Yeah, that’s… why I stopped,” he admitted, voice shaky. “Look, I don’t know how to say it so I’m going to rip it off like a bandage.”

“Dedue?”

Sylvain jolted a bit, not expecting to hear the door open and to have another walk into the room. Of course Dedue didn’t live alone. But he was so caught up in his own emotions he wasn’t expecting anyone to bounce into the room, and he wasn’t expecting him to be so tiny and cute.

“Oh! Hello. Sorry if I’m inter-  _ Sylvain Gautier?” _

Sylvain waved, flashing his signature grin.

“Oh. Okay. Um, I’m going for a walk!”

“You do not have to leave.” Dedue shook his head. “He will not be long.”

“Uh… yeah. I can go now if you’d like! Wouldn’t want to ruin your evening or anything.”

“What do you have to say, Sylvain. Please just tell me.”

His eyes darted from the blushing young man that had entered the room with a potted plant, inching toward the balcony as though he had a million places to be and he did not want to see a moderately famous person sitting in his living room… and Dedue, whose patience was beginning to wear thin.

“…He’s alive.”

“What.”

“He’s alive.” A pause as Sylvain covered his face with both hands. “Not ‘alive and well.’ But alive.”

_ “Sylvain, what are you talking about.” _

“He turned up in the woods to the west almost a year ago, but they couldn’t catch him because he killed some of the search party… twice. So we weren’t certain it was him, but. They did finally take him down. And now he’s - “

“What do you mean they couldn’t  _ catch him!?” _

“He’s… Saints, it sounds so disrespectful but I don’t know another way to say it, alright?” Sylvain dropped his hands. “He is pretty much... well, he's lost himself. To put it lightly. Apparently he’d been out in the woods by himself for the past few years? Plotting revenge, or whatever he does. You know he’s always been sick. And without his medication, that time alone, it… he didn’t do well.”

“What you’re saying does not make any sense.”

“I know! Look, I know it doesn’t. That’s why I have been trying to look for you! I thought maybe you’d want to know. And maybe… help a little if you could. He’s never spoken a word to any of us that wasn’t…” He shivered as the memory of Dimitri’s voice, his sweet Mitya’s voice, would threaten to rip out his still-beating heart. How he never once looked up to notice who it was that was speaking to him. “He doesn’t even respond to Rodrigue. It’s like he’s something else. He is alive but… He’s just anger and teeth. And it’s what he is now, I guess.”

Dedue had heard enough. He was going to see whatever Dimitri turned into no matter how much it would break his heart.

-

“You have to go. You have to  _ live - “ _

”That day, in the wreckage, in the fire, no matter how terrified you were. No matter what you were feeling. You reached out your hand, and you saved me. In more ways than one. You showed me I can still be of value when I had nothing. When I lost all. When I believed I was nothing.”

“…Dedue, don’t do this.” Tears stung in his eyes. He was still weakly pulling at the restraints but the mixture of exhaustion, malnutrition, and whatever drugs the kidnappers had Dimitri on had left him weak.

“I am proud to have lived by your side. I am proud to have been with you, as I know you will do all you can to make my wishes come true even when I am gone. And that is why -”

_ “Dedue, you cannot -” _

“ - I will take the offer. I will give my life if it means you may continue yours. They may not be trustworthy, but any chance I get I will take if it means you will have a better chance of survival.”

“No.” His voice cracked. His face was caked in his tears, and he tried once again to break free of the chains. But he could not. “No, you… have to live. You  _ need to live. _ Why…” Goddess, why was it so difficult to breathe? “Dedue, I am a monster… a murderer capable of terrible things… Your life has value yet where mine does not. You know what I am capable of, and  _ you…” _

“I do not fear you.” Dedue couldn’t move much, as he was wrapped in chains as well. But he was able to kick his foot out far enough for it to rest against the other’s. “You are far too kind to be a monster. I have made up my mind.”

“Please… let me be the one to die. Please don’t join them.”

“It has been an honor, Dimitri.”

-

Ashe was fumbling with the fingerless gloves he was wearing, tearing at the strings that were sticking out from underneath the elastic. Dedue placed a hand down on his to remind him that he was safe though he did not peel his eyes away from the road ahead of them.

He wondered if Dedue was memorizing directions or if his mind was going somewhere darker. He realized it was likely a mixture of both and clutched at what was offered, listing off the reasons he hated all of this in his mind in an attempt to move past the nerves.

1\. He was certain he was far too poor to even  _ look  _ at the car he was currently sitting in the back seat of, so his mind was swirling with ‘ _ oh goddess my shoes are dirty what if I tracked in mud’ _ s and ‘ _ oh no oh please stop turning around to look at us when you’re talking’ _ s. Did he say this thing drove itself? That’s crazy. That didn’t exist. That couldn’t exist. No way.

2\. Dedue had not said a word since the news bore itself into him. When he realized he had been keeping  _ Sylvain  _ away, and not some scammer. He had been keeping himself from the man that commanded him to live. He had shut out Dimitri. He had left him. He had abandoned him. In his mind, he had failed.

3\. Ashe had slept with Sylvain before he went by this name, and so far he had done nothing to hint that he recognized him but  _ saints  _ was it going to be awkward when he broke the news to Dedue. He hadn’t realized that Dedue might have at one point been a bit close to Sylvain since he was very publicly close to Dimitri, but none of the connections snapped into place until he let himself remember that night in the bar when he finally got in with his fake ID.

There was a soft break of silence when a friend of Sylvain’s songs was on the radio and he turned it up, which was a welcome break from everything that was being said. When it was over, he turned it back down, and he started the emotional discussion again.

“I really don’t want to get your hopes up, you know. As I said, he’s been hostile. And with that strength…”

“I understand.”

“He’s a monster exactly like I've always said. He’s just finally stopped pretending to be normal.” Felix’s voice was far away and his arms were crossed. His shoes being up on the front seat of the car was driving Ashe nuts, though Sylvain appeared mostly unbothered. Maybe he was used to it.

“I-I’m sure he can’t be  _ that -” _

“He is. You don’t even know him. You’re not even a part of this.”

“Hey, be nice! Look - Ashe, was it? - Felix is just upset because Dimitri thought he was -”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, whore.”

“Would you rather I stuck something else in there?”

Felix groaned, and the tension stayed thick as silence fell around them all. Maybe that was supposed to be a funny exchange. No one was laughing.

“You were the last one to see him. And he obviously hasn’t told us a single thing about what happened with that cult kidnapping business -”

“Oh, sorry, but we don’t talk about the - “

“The fuck is  _ we?  _ Who even are you -”

“Enough.” Dedue’s voice shut the three of them up immediately. “He will think that I am dead. The last time I saw him, he commanded me to live but I sacrificed myself to those who took him instead. To allow him to live while I was killed in his place.”

“Dedue…”

“Maybe seeing someone he thinks is gone alive will do some good for once.”

“This is a stupid idea. Turn it around.”

“I always go on Thursdays.” Sylvain’s voice was a little less sure this time.

“Yeah, well, I don’t. And you should talk to the people keeping him before you throw in someone that’s potentially triggering, who was likely a catalyst to his descent into madness. It might not bode well to see a ghost in the flesh again. Whatever progress they’ve made with him will go down the drain the  _ second  _ he sees Dedue as a grown man, not in whatever twisted form the boar’s made up in his head.” Felix paused, and genuinely spoke for once as he glanced behind him. “No offense.”

He was right. But it was too late. They were already so close. Sylvain didn’t turn around. No one voiced that they cared what Felix said.

“He thought I was my brother.”

Silence.

Dedue didn’t respond. Sylvain reached a hand out for his best friend but it was left alone. Ashe didn’t know anything about Felix aside from his sharp tongue thus far. But the way the mood had immediately changed to be something worse, something that cut each of them in different ways, told him it was likely for the best he wasn’t a part of this secret.

Felix ran a hand over his head, combing his fingers through not-so-recently buzzed hair as if explaining more of a story. Dedue must have understood and Sylvain pieced some more together for the passenger left in the dark.

“Well, I think you look good with it short. Glenn could never.”

“Shut up, Sylvain.” The request wasn’t malicious in the least. Felix sounded defeated with no venom left behind his tongue. “Please.”

When they finally got inside there were places to check in, paperwork to read, a briefing to be held, and a man waiting to meet up with the party who must have been later than they usually were.

“It really  _ is  _ you.”

Ashe stood up entirely straight, heart pounding as he recognized the man approaching their little party. Rodrigue Fraldarius was the minister of defense; an elected official who had been in the game for a long, long time. Why didn’t he realize this man would be here? He was the advisor to the prime minister that was killed years ago before he was put into his new place. Dimitri was the prime minister’s son. It made sense!

But it was still surreal to see someone like that in the flesh, so…  _ casual. _

“It is so good to see you, Dedue. I trust that you have been well?” He held out his arms, almost as if offering a hug. Dedue did not approach him any more than he had to. “I told you to tell me if you needed anything, and I’ve hardly heard from you in years. I was hoping it has always been a good sign?”

“I have been fine, Mr. Fraldarius. Nothing to report.”

“Surely there is  _ something,” _ he smiled softly and nodded to Ashe, still standing stiffly as if awaiting some sort of order. He was… kind of freaking out. But doing his best to remain calm, of course! On the outside he probably looked calm. Probably. “Who is this?”

“This is Ashe. He is my partner.”

“H-hello! It’s an honor to meet you, sir. Really!”

Ashe reached out to shake the man’s hand, terrified of his being sweaty despite the gloves he was wearing. It was just too much. Why was  _ he  _ here? Why did they have to choose a time in which someone so decorated would be there? Or… was Rodrigue here just as often as Sylvain seemed to be there? Was -

“It isn’t meet-and-greet, gawk at people time. We’re here for a reason, aren’t we?”

“Felix, your rude behavior is not going to help anyone.” Rodrigue’s voice was stern, and Ashe put the pieces together as he noticed the resemblance. Felix was most  _ definitely  _ this man’s kid.

Ashe lowered his hand awkwardly to his side, swaying it a bit until Dedue took it into his.

“Pretending like we’re doing great and are happy to be here isn’t helping, either. Let’s get this over with. We’ll make the boar squirm, feel bad, and then get on with our lives like we always do.” Again everyone could hear the desperate plea that hid in Felix’s voice. He was just as hopeful as anyone that Dedue would be some sort of key; he couldn’t have actually given up on the poor guy.

Begrudgingly, Rodrigue and Sylvain followed after him as he power-walked to wherever he was going. The other two followed behind as they were not yet acclimated to the building and the others seem to have known it like the back of their hands.

“Dedue… Mr. Fraldarius is a friend?” Ashe’s voice was low, as low as it could be as he tried to get his short legs to keep up with Dedue’s strides.

“He is a friend of Mr. Blaiddyd’s. Like a surrogate father to him. He is not a friend of  _ mine.” _

“He certainly looked like he is… why didn’t you stay in touch?”

“Another time, Ashe. Please.”

“Oh… yes, this is a lot right now. I’m sorry.”

Dedue still held Ashe’s hand and squeezed it twice. Ashe understood the little bit of communication that provided, knowing that he would explain in detail later. He didn’t like to talk about things so serious around others. He hardly liked to speak around others at  _ all,  _ but it was far more important for him to focus on what was happening next.

Eventually, Dedue was ushered into a room. He was lead inside without the others, only going along with one other helper. The door closed behind them and secured itself as though it would work to keep them inside like he was now locked in a cage with whatever horrors he would experience. There was no turning back.

Dedue sat in a chair that was provided while the helper stood next to the door. It was hardly private, and he knew there were likely cameras or some sort of windows to peer into this room. But it was for his safety. He wondered if these measures were put into place only for Dimitri’s visitors - they both had the funds to create such an elaborate setup and they would only ever need it for someone who possessed his unnatural strength.

There was a man that resembled the young General sitting in the chair before him, head bowed down low. His large hands were balled into fists upon the table and he was squeezing them tightly, relaxing, then squeezing again. He hadn’t reacted to the door opening. He didn’t react to Dedue taking a seat at the table opposite of him. He did not look up.

His hair was long and unkempt, though it was obvious that someone had at least attempted to run a comb through it. As if they had to hurry, or had to do it from afar. But it was still just as yellow and was likely just as soft as it always was.

The other obvious difference was the empty eye socket, of course. Scars were surrounding it, though Dedue did his best not to stare. He had gotten plenty of scars from their time apart himself, after all. It made him wonder what the hell happened to make him lose an  _ eye, though,  _ and the train of thought immediately arrived at the fact those scars looked self-inflicted. He didn’t want to think any further. He would never ask him about something so horrible. He would never ask a damn thing.

Dimitri was always so kind. He always shouldered the burden of his loved ones’ deaths on his own. He’d always partially blamed himself for what happened to Dedue and his family, for everyone that  _ he  _ lost. Dimitri was so filled with love and sorrow that it crumpled him. He had the public eye shining down at him at all times and did his best to smile for it despite the pain of his losses and the inability to process anything on his own. His father was a terrific leader and Dimitri was always raised to be the same. Sadly that came with the responsibility of never bearing his true feelings and forcing himself to appear put together when he could never be farther from it.

The fact he was so shattered, hollow, and filled with rage was so shocking to those who Dimitri had tried to connect with before. But Dedue knew better; just as Felix always had. He was capable of great and terrible things. He had the makings of a true monster.

But Dimitri was far too kind. The struggle of trying to balance every life he’d lost, the way he’d try to save every soul, studied day in and day out to find ways to help the people around him, and  _ acted upon it _ was one of the things Dedue loved the most about him. His idolizing did go too far and he was aware of it.

But he never regretted a moment. If there was anyone who had walked in Fodlan that deserved such high praise it was Dimitri. Only Dimitri.

Dedue did not speak. He hardly wanted the silence to be broken at all, as there had been far too much talking on the way there. Too much as they explained the situation and how fragile his state was going to be when reintroduced to him.

He welcomed the silence now, how the only thing he could hear was the soft ticking of the clock on the wall warning him that visiting hours would be up soon. That there was still time; he could return. Any uncomfortable situation was made better by it being with Dimitri, no matter what face he was presenting.

And then he spoke.

“You’ve no need to haunt me. I have avenged you. May you rest in peace.”

He knew better than to speak against what was said. He had half the mind to stay silent, just to have this first confrontation be as it was and slowly begin to open back up to him. But Dedue had played out in his mind so many hundreds of times what he would do if Dimitri was sitting in the chair in front of him. What he would say if Dimitri could still hear it.

“I truly appreciate it, sir, but I am not dead.” He leaned forward and spoke softly, calmly.

“…Dedue?”

His eye was wide, and for the first time in years, he met another man’s gaze without taking it as a challenge. His mind was clear. His heart, even for a moment, swelled with hope. With his humanity. He allowed himself to connect to it, even if he knew it was too good to be true.

Dimitri finally allowed his focus to be on something other than his demons, and all of it centered on the scars on Dedue’s face. His lip. His jaw. His brow. How they were just as he remembered, though there were some new ones he did not know. This was not his mind playing tricks on him; he had always imagined Dedue with such a look of scorn and with wounds still open, still causing him pain. This version of him was healed and peaceful. Put together, a bit worked up, but still well-groomed and scared over and  _ alive. _

A tear welled up against his will, as though finally breaking through and letting him feel. He opened himself up to it, not to only being cognizant enough to survive. And what he felt wasn’t fear, it wasn’t anger, it wasn’t sorrow. It broke free in no time and burned a line down his face but he couldn’t stop it from falling. He was being delusional. It couldn’t be real. This wasn’t real.

This wasn’t Dedue. He had to have fabricated whoever this was, twisted them into looking like Dedue how Dimitri  _ wished  _ he would look. That was the only explanation. This was some sort of dream. It would surely become a nightmare. He didn’t want to watch this beautiful version of such a cherished friend contort into some sort of pale monstrosity. He closed his eye again, tightening his fists, and bowed his head down low to get away from his gaze again. Somewhere within him wanted to embrace this truth, wanted to embrace this man sitting in the chair before him. But everything else within him screamed to not trust any good feeling, that whatever was happening couldn’t be real. The only thing he knew he could trust to be true was his pain.

_ “Impossible. Must you mock me?” _


End file.
